Abyssal City

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Abyssal City

Post by Leo on Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:39 pm

Abyssal city, Part 1.

Breathing heavily as he sat before the caves mouth, Torrez looked into the dark as he tightened his gear. His jet-black fur glistened in the sun as he sighed shakily. He had only been spelunking for a few years, barely a rookie at the art. Loose gravel crunched underfoot as he walked a bit closer, he was bluntly surprised this cave wasn’t recorded yet, he had found it in a mountain near his home. Being carried away with his new hobby, he thought he might as well look and see if it was recorded, and ranked in difficulty. Walking slowly into the open mouthed cave, disguised by thick bushes and thorned blackberry bushes, he gave his surprise a rest with the notion that not only was this cave covered by all view but that up close, but that this area wasn’t known for its cave abundance. Continuing into the depth, he tried to elude himself of thoughts of monsters and death. He was a mature panther; he must not let silly things such as monsters squander his aspirations.
Flinching at imaginary noises, he growled at his fears. Eyes wide to take in the mediocre vision his simple helmet light gave him, he turned around a few more bends and came upon a door. It seemed to be an old-styled iron door, with writing, barely visible in the dim light, and corrosion of time. Walking up close, holding his handheld flashlight up close, he could just make out the words. “Those who pass through this door shall forever be incased in the abyss”. Laughing a bit, trying to ward off his worries, Torrez slowly pulled the latch, opening the door yet slower. Looking though the door, he sees a burst of light go down the tunnel, lighting basins of fire along it’s way. Looking around, before he knew what he was doing, he had walked through the door, and it shut behind him. Looking behind himself in confusion, he saw that there wasn’t a handle on this side. Clawing and banging on the door in attempt to open it, he gave up around twenty minutes.
Sighing a bit as he gave up his attempt at escape, he turns around to something that induced a startled gasp. Standing under one of the hanging basins of fire, was a heavily cloaked fur, Torrez couldn’t even tell what species or gender this furson was. Seemingly tilting his head, a presumption made by the panther due to the ruffling of the heavy hood, the fur said with a rough, gravelly male voice, “Sir, have you lost your way”? Taking a few steps forward, holding out his hand, the cloaked fur seemed to soften a bit in voice. “Well, my boy. It is of no matter. You are here now, and you will be here for a very long time… or so I would hope”. At these last words, his voiced trailed off in a troubled tone, seemingly distraught about something. Ignoring the fur’s last words, he blurted out in panic.
“No, no, no, no…. there must be another way out! Who are you! What the hell is going on here”! All this time freaking out about whom this guy was and what was going on, he all the while chided himself about how much he messed up. When it all came down to it, no one knew where he was. For all his family knew he was just sitting at his apartment, watching TV. He didn’t tell anyone he was going to explore a cave, he wanted to be the first to find and mark the cave. As he was busy hyperventilating, the cloaked fur walked to him and put a hand on his shoulder, giving a small laugh.
“Settle down, friend, you have nothing to worry with us. Just come with me and I’ll bring you to one who can explain all this to you, in more detail than I”. At this, the cloaked fur began to walk down the tunnel at a quick pace, and to the panthers dismay, he fallowed without question. Looking around with wide eyes, rubbing his hands together as they passed to and from the lighted circles the flames provided. The cloaked fur turning, he took off his hood in the movement, first frightening the panther with a sightless eye, blurred out from it’s death. The panther calmed as this, what turned out to be, Gray Fox came full turn. The other eye was that of soft gray, it seemed to incase the soul of a mentor, one of wisdom, understanding, and calmed patients. Holding out a gloved hand, he gave Torrez a soft smile. “Where have my manners been off to? Forgive me, sir. I am Zual, gatekeeper of this side. May I ask who you might be”? Taking a long pause, the panther seemed to be stuck on this gatekeeper’s one eye. Shaking out of what seemed to be a trance, he gave the gatekeeper his own hand in greeting.
“I am Torrez, cashier of the local convenience store”. Having a small job, he had gotten most of his gear through gifts, birthdays, Christmas and such. He had only been out of his parents’ house for no more than half a year, being lucky and finding a good priced place. Now he was in a cave, fallowing a fox he met a few minutes ago deeper in. However, there was something odd about this fox; he couldn’t seem to just say no, I won’t fallow you.
Giving a slight laugh, Zual held out his hand again, offering to take the lead. “Here, young one. I can take you to someone who can help”. Putting his hand in the fox’s, he let him lead the way, no matter how much he wanted to make a comeback, defend himself from being called a child, he just couldn’t. He found it very strange, and unnerving. Walking in silence for a few minutes, the fox smiling warmly, and the panther having panic attacks, they came upon an elevator. While inside, it was completely enclosed, so they couldn’t see how fast they were going, but he knew it was going faster than any elevator he’s been on. Turning his head a bit, the panther smiled weakly at the fox, then let out an elegant question.
“What the hell”? The fox chuckling, putting his heavily gloved hand on his face, he took a few seconds to recover from this small sentence, looking over at the panther, then laughing quietly to himself, he answered.
“Well, friend, you have happened upon what your people would consider a secret society. To the extreme, really. Though I would call us more a country than a secret society. We have our politics, we have our land, underground or not, we have our guard. The only problem is we’re not recognized by the U.N., if they even knew we exist, and we don’t go parading about our existence, we keep it hush, hush, really”. This whole time, the panther stared blankly, He didn’t care what they thought, this was a secret society! With it’s rituals, and it’s sacrifices, and all that other crap. If he thought he was in trouble now, the past was a tea party to now. Eye twitching slightly as he looked in front of him, he decided he couldn’t really do anything. He just had to hope that these people weren’t monsters as he saw on TV.
Finally coming to a slowed stop at the bottom of this elevator ride, Torrez noticed for the first time, there weren’t any buttons on the elevator. There must be something that makes it go, pressure pads or something. Walking to another door, a newer, less written on version of the first he encountered, he stepped through it with the fox, coming to an enormous cavern, filled with what looked like a old style city, buildings made of brick. Then out of nowhere, skyscraper sized buildings rose to the top of the cave, connecting with it as they went. At the middle was what looked like a large fortress, reminding him of old times. As they came out, it seemed that two wolves, brown and not special looking, and a lion stood in wait. They seemed to be wearing normal cloths, but they all were wearing the same normal cloths. Reminded Torrez of thugs. Stepping forward, Zual growled a warning at the three. “Be gone, this is not a matter of yours”! Laughing, the very large lion crossed his arms over his chest, seemingly finding this gatekeeper’s threats silly.
“Oh, but isn’t it our business? We are here to take the new comer to the king. Is that what the guard are meant to do”? Growling yet more, the Fox pulled a hand behind his back and pulled out a short sword, pointing the tip at the group of furs.
“You are naught but a bunch of thugs, your king is nothing but a scoundrel. Calling peace with a knife held behind his back”. The fox seemed to step back a bit in dismay, several more armored furs stepped up, mostly wolves, but a few foxes mixed in with the troops, though they had bows. The lion laughing yet more, as if cornering a long adversary, the fox turned back to Torrez, looking desperate. He whispers at the panther, his eye looking around for a rout. “There is an alleyway behind you, run down it. Tell them Zual is up here. Tell them I’m in trouble”. Turning, Torrez began to run down the alleyway, almost tripping on an uneven cobblestone. Coming upon a few people chatting outside of a building, he huffed as he struggles with words.
“U-um, Do you know Zual”? One Tiger, one wolf, and even a rabbit, the latter creature looked up and the other two perked there ears and nodded. “Well, he told me to tell you he’s down there, and he’s In trouble”. Not even second guessing him as a stranger, they went inside, and a few minutes later came rushing out with about fifteen people, distributed with great-bows and pikes.
Now Torrez sits on the steps, being eyed a bit as every stranger passed, which was about one furson. Looking down the ally, he saw a group of people walking back, and what seemed to be carrying a robed figure between them all.
Watching in horror as they brought up the wounded gatekeeper, Torrez stood up, and began to back away as they brought him into the house. The rabbit that he saw before, stopped outside the door, and looked into the panthers eyes. His fur was of golden brown, a bit tawny as it reached his foot paws. Being of a sleeker variety, he was carrying a bow and short sword, wearing an amulet around his neck. Looking a bit stern, he was in his younger years, sixteen at most. Tilting his head, his ears flopped a bit as he put on a questioning gaze. “Are you from up top”?
Letting out a whimper, the panther fell to the ground on his rump, and curled into a ball against the wall. He had lost it, he couldn’t handle this kind of stuff. All his life he wanted a grand adventure, but he wasn’t a child anymore, he had a job, he even had enough money to start college that year. Everything had come together, he was going to make it big, he had the smarts, and now he had met the financial requirements. Tears running down his cheek as he began to shake, he felt a hand placed on his shoulder. “Whatever you’re life may have been in the past, here is what it is now. I see that this is a shock, I know how it feels. Trust me. Now, take my hand. I’ll lead you to somewhere you can feel sorry for yourself in safety”. Looking up at the rabbit, he saw fiery passion in his amber eyes. Taking his paw in his own, he let the rabbit led the way into the house.
From the inside, it looked like a base, barricades placed in the hallways, and arrow slits seemed to be welded to the normal windows. Walking into a room, the rabbit let go of his hand, then sat on a bed to the far corner. Sitting on a bed a few feet away, on the same wall, Torrez looked at the strange building from the inside, which looked as if made of clay. After looking at the walls, he caught the rabbit starring at him. Looking back into the rabbits eyes, the panther twitched a bit at the intensity of the gaze. “U-um… my name is Torrez, yours”? The rabbit’s neutral expression broke into a slight smile.
“My name is Gabriel, Torrez. I’m sorry you had to find yourself stuck in this place… at such an awful time”. Sighing a bit, the rabbit laid down on the bed, stretching a bit in a yawn. “I’ll take you to Leo tomorrow; he’s the one you want to see”. Raising an eyebrow, the panther sat back onto his elbows.
“And what makes you say that”? The panther had regained himself… for now. He didn’t want to go meeting people at random that supposedly he wanted to see. The rabbit gave an impatient grunt before replying. “He’s on your side, Torrez”.
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Re: Abyssal City

Post by Foxxie-kun on Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:13 pm

Simply amazing. Very few spelling and grammatical errors, and I would definitely read more if/when it's written.
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Re: Abyssal City

Post by Leo on Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:33 pm

How was it amazing? =o


Last edited by Leo on Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Abyssal City

Post by Foxxie-kun on Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:38 pm

It's a captivating story, and I can feel myself relating to Torrez and his dilemma.

Too bad I can't post my yiff story here though, it's my first work, but I daresay it's very good. You can find it on my FA.
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Re: Abyssal City

Post by Leo on Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:49 pm

Ohz. I've been thinkiing about making a yiff story.
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Re: Abyssal City

Post by Foxxie-kun on Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:51 pm

Go for it! I'm sure it'll turn out good.
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Re: Abyssal City

Post by Leo on Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:53 pm

Hm... sure. Maybe when I feel better.
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Re: Abyssal City

Post by Chuu on Sat Jul 25, 2009 3:57 pm

Write more bitch!

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Re: Abyssal City

Post by naoki on Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:32 pm

lol i reconize that! its excellent and i agree you should write more!
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Re: Abyssal City

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